Facing the Inner Critic: Healing Perfectionism Holistically
Do you ever feel like nothing you do is good enough? Have you ever stayed up too late "tweaking" your homework? Or felt nervous about what others will think of your work? Even when it’s great work? This feeling of never being “enough” is a sign of perfectionism. Often, behind perfectionism is a harsh inner voice, always judging, pushing, and criticizing.
Many people struggle with a harsh inner critic. The good news is, there are ways to work with it. Holistic therapies like Somatic Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Depth Psychotherapy, and creative programs like The Artist’s Way offer powerful tools for understanding and healing this painful pattern. These approaches don’t just try to stop the critic. They help us understand why it’s there and how to meet it with compassion.
Let’s break down what each of these approaches is and how they can help with perfectionism.
What Is Perfectionism?
n. the tendency to demand of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation. It is associated with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other mental health problems. —perfectionist adj., n.
Perfectionism is the belief that we must be the best in everything we do. People with perfectionist tendencies may:
Feel scared of making mistakes.
Judge themselves harshly.
Work extra hard to avoid failure.
Feel like their worth depends on success.
Perfectionism can come from many places. It might start in childhood, from parents, teachers, or even peers who had high expectations. It might also grow from experiences where love or attention came only when we did well. Over time, our brains learn to connect success with safety.
The inner critic is the voice inside us that says things like:
“That’s not good enough.”
“You’re going to fail.”
“Who do you think you are taking on this project?”
It may sound like it’s trying to motivate us. It usually makes us feel small, anxious, or frozen. In most cases, it is not super helpful.
Somatic Psychotherapy: Listening to the Body
“Somatic” means “relating to the body.” Somatic Psychotherapy helps people connect with their bodies to understand their emotions, behaviors, and past experiences.
When we experience stress or criticism (even from ourselves), our bodies hold on to that tension. Tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, or a nervous stomach can all be signs of how the inner critic affects us physically.
Somatic therapy helps us:
Notice where we hold stress or fear in our bodies.
Release built-up tension through movement, breath, or touch.
Learn to feel safe in our own bodies again.
For example, if someone feels anxious if they have to present an idea to a group, a somatic therapist might help them notice what is happening in their body. Is their chest tight? Are they holding their breath? As they begin to relax and breathe, they can start to feel more present and less trapped by perfectionist fear.
Internal Family Systems (IFS): Meeting Our Inner Parts
Internal Family Systems, or IFS, is a type of therapy that sees the mind as made up of different “parts.” These parts are like mini-personalities, each with their own feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. You might have a part that worries, a part that tries to make people happy. Most of us have a part that acts like a harsh inner critic.
IFS teaches that all our parts are trying to help us—even if it doesn’t feel like it.
In IFS, we learn to meet each part with curiosity and kindness. Instead of fighting the inner critic or trying to silence it, we get to know it. We might ask:
“What are you afraid will happen if I’m not perfect?”
“How long have you been trying to protect me?”
“What do you need from me?”
Often, the inner critic is trying to protect a younger, more vulnerable part of us that was once hurt or shamed. When we can connect with that younger part and give it comfort, the critic doesn't have to work so hard.
Depth Psychotherapy: Embracing the Shadow
Carl Jung was a Swiss psychologist who believed in the power of symbols, dreams, and the unconscious in self-growth. For Jung, the unconscious is the part of our mind we don’t fully know or understand yet. One of Jung’s most important ideas is the shadow. The shadow is everything we push away or hide because we think it’s “bad” or “not good enough.”
For perfectionists, the shadow might include mistakes, messiness, sadness, needs, anger, or vulnerability. Depth psychotherapy encourages us to explore our shadow, not avoid it. Dreams, art, and imagination can help us connect with these hidden parts of ourselves. When we embrace the parts we’ve rejected, we become more whole—and the inner critic starts to soften.
For example, someone might dream about being chased by a monster. A depth therapist might help them see the monster as a symbol of their shadow—their fears, shame, or anger. By getting curious about this image, the person may realize the “monster” isn’t evil. Perhaps it’s just a part of oneself that needs attention and care.
The Artist’s Way: Freeing the Creative Self
The Artist’s Way is a book written by Julia Cameron to help people reconnect with their creativity. While it’s often used by writers and artists, it’s actually helpful for anyone struggling with self-doubt and perfectionism.
A big part of The Artist’s Way is learning how to deal with the “inner critic,” which Cameron calls the Censor. The Censor is the voice in your head that tells you your work is stupid, boring, or not good enough. Sound familiar?
Cameron offers two main tools to quiet this voice and rediscover your joy:
Morning Pages. This is a daily practice of writing three pages of anything that comes to mind, by hand, first thing in the morning. The goal is not to be good or clever—just honest. It helps clear out the inner noise and lets you hear your true voice under the critic’s chatter.
Artist Dates. Once a week, you take yourself on a fun, solo outing—something playful, inspiring, or relaxing. These help refill our creative energy, and remind us of all that is in the world to experience outside of ourselves.
Over time, The Artist’s Way helps people reconnect with their inner child. This part loved to create, play, and imagine before the inner critic took over.
How These Approaches Work Together in Holistic Therapy
Each of these holistic approaches helps in a different way:
Somatic therapy helps us release physical symptoms, energy, and hormones that perfectionism creates.
IFS helps us dialogue with and understand the critic.
Depth therapy helps us explore our hidden feelings and shame.
The Artist’s Way gives us tools to play, write, and dream without judgment.
Together, they address perfectionism from all angles. They help us move from fear to freedom.
Small Steps to Begin
You don’t need to be in holistic therapy to start healing perfectionism, but if you’d like someone to guide and contain the process, the holistic therapists at Rezak Therapy are ready to help.
Here are some simple things you can try on your own.
Body Check-In. Notice where stress lives in your body. Take a deep breath and gently release it.
Name a Part. Instead of saying “I’m not good enough,” try saying “A part of me feels scared.”
Be Curious, Not Cruel. Ask your inner critic what it’s trying to protect. Can you offer it some kindness?
Write Morning Pages. Try writing three pages by hand every morning. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling. Just let your thoughts flow.
Take an Artist Date. Go to a bookstore, visit a park, or do something fun alone, just for you.
Perfectionism is tough—but it’s not who you are. It’s a habit built from fear, and it can be changed. You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy. You’re allowed to be messy, creative, and human. With holistic therapy approaches like Somatic Therapy, IFS, Depth Psychotherapy, and The Artist’s Way, you can learn to listen to yourself with care instead of criticism.
Contact us to schedule a consultation call to see if Rezak Therapy feels like a good fit for you to tame your perfectionist from ruling your life.
