From Self-Criticism to Self-Trust in Depth Therapy

Low self-esteem is often described as a confidence issue. In depth psychotherapy, it rarely feels that simple.

More often, it sounds like a relentless inner critic:

• You should be further along by now.

• You’re too much.

• You’re not enough.

• If they really knew you, they’d leave.

From a depth psychotherapy perspective, low self-esteem reflects a painful relationship to the psyche. The critical voice has become dominant, shaping how you see yourself and your value.

The Inner Critic as a Complex

Carl Jung described the psyche as composed of complexes. These are emotionally-charged clusters of experience that form around early relationships and significant events. When activated, a complex can take over perception, mood, and behavior.

The inner critic is often one of these complexes.

It may carry the tone of a parent, teacher, sibling, or cultural ideal. At one time, it may have helped you adapt—by pushing you to achieve, avoid risk, or preempt rejection. Over time, what once functioned as protection can become harsh, rigid, and unforgiving. It often represents an outdated coping strategy for protection. In other words, you have learned new information about life since the strategy was born. Yet the complex feels innate; so it feels difficult to integrate the new information into a more helpful protective position.

Low self-esteem develops when this critical complex begins to define identity. The voice feels factual. Absolute. Unquestionable.

The Ego and the Larger Psyche

Jung understood the ego—the conscious “I”—as only one part of a much larger psyche. When the ego fuses with the critic, it loses connection with what Jung called the Self. For Jung, the Self is the deeper organizing center of the personality. Switching to the language of Internal Family Systems therapy, a self-critical part of the inner system takes control and leads the show. The goal in IFS is to become less “part-led” more “Self-led.”

June Singer, Jungian analyst wrote about the necessity of separating from internalized parental voices in order to develop authentic authority. Psychological growth requires differentiating from what we unconsciously absorbed about who we were expected to be. Low self-esteem often signals that this differentiation remains incomplete.

The critic insists: This is who you are. Depth psychotherapy invites inquiry: Whose voice is this? What purpose has it served? Does it still belong at the center of your identity?

Cultural Amplification of Self-Criticism

Self-criticism intensifies with cultural pressures. Productivity, comparison, visibility, and achievement often become measures of our worth. Social media and professional milestones offer endless opportunities for the critic to gather evidence about where we fall short.

Depth psychotherapy shifts attention away from cultural standards and toward symbolic meaning:

• What does “failure” represent in your inner life?

• What image arises when you imagine being “not enough”?

• What dreams accompany periods of shame or collapse?

The psyche communicates in images and feeling-tones. Symptoms often point toward disowned parts of the personality. Again, in IFS language we're referring to parts known as exiles.

Qualities that were once shamed—sensitivity, anger, ambition, sexuality, creativity—can become split off. The critic frequently guards these exiled aspects, attacking whenever they try to emerge. Working with low self-esteem involves gradually reclaiming what was pushed into shadow.

Working with Low Self-Esteem in Depth Psychotherapy

Depth psychotherapy does not attempt to overpower the critic with positive thinking. Instead, it fosters awareness, differentiation, and dialogue.

This work may include:

1. Developing an observing stance. You begin to notice the critic as a part of the psyche rather than the totality of who you are.

2. Tracing its origins. When did this voice take shape? Whose tone does it echo? What circumstances strengthened it?

3. Understanding its protective function. How has it attempted to shield you from humiliation, abandonment, envy, or disappointment?

4. Reclaiming shadowed qualities. What parts of you has the critic targeted most intensely? What vitality might those parts contain?

As Jung emphasized, bringing unconscious material into awareness alters its power. The critic becomes contextualized. Its authority softens. Space opens for a more expansive and compassionate self-experience.

From Self-Esteem to Self-Trust

Depth psychotherapy reorients the focus from raising self-esteem to deepening self-trust.

A steadier sense of worth develops when:

• The critic is recognized as one voice among many.

• Shame is voiced and metabolized rather than hidden.

• The ego reconnects with a deeper inner center.

• Inner authority and self-esteem grow through experience and reflection.

The aim is alignment rather than inflated confidence. When the ego stands in relationship to the larger psyche, identity feels less brittle. The inner critic loses its absolute edge. Something steadier begins to organize the personality from within. When this happens, we begin to notice a trust building in the Self. A growing awareness develops that Self can handle situations the Inner Critic used to believe required more primitive protective strategies.

Working with Low Self-Esteem at Rezak Therapy

At Rezak Therapy in Pasadena, we offer depth psychotherapy in a grounded and contained environment. Sessions may include exploration of dreams, symbols, relational dynamics, and unconscious patterns that shape how you see yourself.

In addition to individual depth psychotherapy for low self-esteem and anxiety, Rezak Therapy also offers:

• Couples therapy for partners seeking deeper understanding, repair, and emotional growth

• Group therapy to explore relational patterns within a supportive community

• Process-oriented workshops that integrate creativity and psychological insight

If you are struggling with chronic self-doubt, perfectionism, shame, or a harsh inner critic that feels impossible to satisfy, depth psychotherapy offers an opportunity to work at the roots.

If you would like to explore this work, I invite you to reach out to schedule a complimentary consultation. Healing self-criticism involves reclaiming the parts of you that were once silenced. From there you can discover a more grounded sense of Self from within.