Healing Relationship Trauma: Restoring Connection and Trust Through Holistic Approaches
Trauma can make it hard to connect and trust in relationships. Traumatic experiences might have occurred in past relationships, in childhood, or through broader experiences such as racism. They can leave individuals feeling disconnected, vulnerable, and fearful of emotional closeness. But, there are holistic methods to heal relationship trauma. These methods focus on restoring connection and trust. In this post, we'll explore some holistic therapy approaches to healing relationship trauma.
The Role of the Nervous System
First, let's delve into the role our nervous systems play. Relationship trauma can compromise our sense of safety. Feeling safe is important to heal it. Often, people don't know how safety should feel in their bodies. Later in this post, we'll address what we do in these situations. For many people, a sense of safety is identifiable when alone or with a partner.
The autonomic nervous system controls essential body functions like heart rate and digestion. It has two main branches: the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. The sympathetic system triggers the "fight or flight" response in danger. It readies the body for action. Meanwhile, the parasympathetic system, or "rest and digest" system, promotes calm. It also aids in digestion.
Polyvagal Theory and Safety
Dr. Stephen Porges created the Polyvagal Theory. It sheds light on the autonomic nervous system and social interactions. The theory highlights the importance of the vagus nerve in regulating emotions. It also outlines three states: social engagement, fight or flight, and shutdown.
The "safe and social" concept in Polyvagal Theory refers to a feeling of safety and emotional security. It allows people to connect and collaborate. Feeling this way activates the parasympathetic nervous system. This leads to relaxation, trust, and well-being. It also supports healthy relationships and positive social interactions.
Perceiving a threat can trigger the sympathetic nervous system. A threat might lead to a fight-or-flight response or to shutdown. It can cause stress, withdrawal, or defensive behaviors.
The reptilian brain, also called the primal brain or brainstem, is the oldest part of our brain. It controls basic functions like breathing and heart rate. It also triggers survival instincts. In a perceived threat, it activates one of the two defensive responses: fight-or-flight or shutdown. In fight-or-flight, we become combative or exit a situation. In shutdown, we might dissociate from what is happening or freeze.
Nurturing the Mind-Body Connection
At Rezak Therapy, we treat relationship trauma holistically. We start by building trust between therapist and client. This invites the client's "safe and social" state, essential for connection and trust. Time in this state helps clients recognize the feeling of safety. From there, we can address trauma in the body.
Somatic Psychotherapy blends body-focused activities with talk therapy to heal body-stored trauma. It uses grounding, mindfulness, and body awareness to manage the nervous system and reduce tension. This approach acknowledges the connection between body, mind, and spirit in healing.
Our holistic therapists also use Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy to heal relationship trauma. This method works with the mind as a system of parts, or subpersonalities. It helps clients heal by identifying and working with these parts. Together these parts have created a cooperative approach for feeling safe in the world. IFS focuses on healing emotional wounds and restoring inner balance. IFS helps us understand how past experiences affect our current coping strategies. It helps integrate emotions. It heals attachment injuries and builds a secure self in relationships.
Attachment Theory
The Attachment Lens examines how early attachment impacts adult relationships. It looks at attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized). By understanding and cultivating a secure attachment style, individuals can enjoy healthier relationships. Research estimates that half of the population has a secure attachment style. The other half has one of the other styles. The Attachment Lens helps us discover and explore relational patterns. It also helps us heal attachment wounds and boost emotional closeness. Holistic approaches are helpful in building secure attachments with oneself and others.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) centers on the emotional bond between partners. It’s based on attachment theory. It identifies and shifts negative interaction patterns that harm relationships. EFT explores emotions, unmet needs, and attachment fears. This rebuilds trust and connection. It allows partners to be vulnerable, offer support, and create new stories of love.
The Importance of Trust
The SuperSoul Session “The Anatomy of Trust” is a great resource for healing relationship trauma. It is especially helpful for couples who are rebuilding trust in their relationships. Brené Brown is a psychology researcher and storyteller. She has spent two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. In the video she identifies an acronym, B.R.A.V.I.N.G., to explain the components of trust. According to Brown’s research, trust includes eight components. Boundaries. Reliability. Accountability. the Vault. Integrity. Non-judgement. And Generosity. You can find her video at the bottom of our Recommended Reading page.
For those who lack any sense of safety in their bodies, Brainspotting and EMDR can help. These techniques focus on eye movements and emotional processing. By identifying emotional "brainspots" and using bilateral stimulation, deep-rooted trauma can be processed. For relationship trauma, Brainspotting releases emotional pain and changes negative beliefs. It allows for a new felt sense of safety that may never have existed before.
A Holistic Approach
Healing relationship trauma is possible with a holistic approach. Emotional, cognitive, somatic, and relational aspects should be considered. By using techniques like Brainspotting and EFT, individuals can heal, grow, and transform. Rebuilding trust and connection demands courage, vulnerability, and personal growth. The result is often resilience and trusting relationships with oneself and others.
Heal Your Relationship Trauma With Holistic Therapy in Pasadena, CA
Are you struggling to connect and trust in your relationships due to past trauma? Discover how holistic therapy can help you restore safety and emotional closeness, allowing you to heal and build healthy connections. Join us at Rezak Therapy as we explore various holistic approaches to guide you on your journey to recovery and resilience. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see if Holistic therapy is right for you.
Begin meeting with a skilled holistic therapist.
Start healing and building positive connections.
Other Services Offered at Rezak Therapy in Pasadena, CA
At Rezak Therapy, we're here to help you align with your most authentic self. Our Holistic therapy approaches include talk therapy, somatic psychotherapy, and depth psychotherapy. We also offer services for those struggling with post-traumatic stress, individuals dealing with anxiety or depression, couples looking to increase intimacy in their relationships, and The Artists Way Group which is a 12-week adventure of artistic discovery and personal exploration. For more on holistic therapy and our other services check out our blog.
